Tuesday, December 16, 2008

To the K-blog!

I've restrained myself for far too long, snickering to myself in the corner and not sharing the lolz with you fine people... well, both of you. No more. Because today's story? Takes the cake.

yes, this cake.

You see, Once upon a time in Holland Township, Adolf Hitler wanted a birthday cake.

This was little Adolf Hitler Campbell, of course, who is turning three-- elder to his sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (I imagine this is a mispelling of 'Himmler'-- which would make this even more, as the kids say, "fucking epic"). The best part?

"The Campbells turned down the market's offer to make a cake with enough room for them to write their own inscription and can't understand what all of the fuss is about."

Weak. You knew this would happen when you named your kids, you dumb fucks! Don't feign ignorance of the likely reactions of pretty much Everyone Ever... while I'll admit, this whole debacle shows a lively amount of ignunce, you're not fooling anybody. This isn't about how sad it is that your poor little kid doesn't get a cheap storebought birthday cake inscribed how you'd like. Check Cake Wrecks-- this is not as uncommon as you'd think. They're just lucky Shop-Rite didn't choose to be more passive-aggresive about the whole thing.

And then there's this:

The Campbells said they wanted their children to have unique names and didn't expect the names to cause problems. Despite the cake refusal, the Campbells said they don't expect the names to cause problems later, such as when the children start school.

...so never mind. These parents? FAIL at parenthood. Definately fail at public school. I see that they're hardcore devotees of #101 on the list of things white people like: being offended. First-Amendmentlol! edition.

And more commentary here. Though really, they ought to have disallowed comments, because the whole thing is godwin'd before it begins.

All of that said, what really... well, you see, these people? They are both on disability, one for Emphesyma, one for a bad back. So they don't work, they just collect social security. Can you guess what this would have meant for them during the Reich? How happily the German Nation would have carried these people who were not contributing anything to the Fatherland, instead expecting handouts?

I knew you could!

Now, Das kainenchen is more of a Socialist these days than a national socialist, so I am fine with social programs... but please understand a philosophy before you expound it. The Reich would not have loved you. It would have burned you. Sorry. Now this is coming from a corpse whose existance is, at this point, a steaming hot stream of horse piss in the cornflakes of racial purity. My salt grains, they are free.

As the random psychologist in the article says, "The problems the children might encounter in school, [Gordon] said, "would be icing on the cake."

Ain' it jes?

And all of that said:

Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

So, Das Kainenchen has already voted, ja. I'm sure you can imagine who for. But as I'm not certain the dead nazi vote is exactly a sought-after constituency... well.

In the meantime, go watch Family Guy: Road to Germany, for numerous Lulz at the expense of many of your favorites, and also the RAF.

Though seriously folks, Germany never got far with nukes. On account of, you know, killing or chasing off the people who were going to come up with them.

Smooth moves, Ex-lax.

But yes, go do the voting thing. And DON'T VOTE FOR THE AUSTRIAN!

Wait, He's not running... yet.

Now to enjoy my coffee and ice cream of freedom. We don't have a krispy kreme here. Alas.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Another Austrian in Another Show.

Car Smash ex Machina and the Jewish (or Immigrant) Question.

Commentary on this one I'll leave till I'm more coherent, since figuring out whether this fellow is a true Ignunt Neo or a National Socialist Labour Man with an extremist past is beyond my abilities this morning. But dead nazis, even dead potential nazis, are always funny. So. Duly noted.

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Fhurer over Jesus.

Scroll down to the comments...

"The threat of National Socialism is greater than that lib. We need a leader not a Messiah."

Let us all stand around and marvel at the... Specialness of those who will decry National Socialism, and yet demand a Leader.


Sunday, August 31, 2008

A Winnar ist an Hero!

From stuffwhitepeoplelike.com: Breaking Godwin's, like wind.

Someday I will get tired of posting links with minimal commentary, but really, betimes the content speaks rather well for itself.

Friday, August 15, 2008

What was that about Poland again?

Ja, I have nothing to say about this.

No, I have plenty to say about it. AND ALL OF IT LULZ!

But then there's times where the gallows begins to outweight the humor, and yeah.


Friday, August 8, 2008

I need to twitter this.

I am beginning to think that I need to compile a comprehensive list of luylztastic videos based on that one scene from that one movie where there's all the fail and death.

But then, that would be almost like efficient paperwork. Yeah, I don't do that anymore. Nien.


Courtesy of.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I will never escape the Propagandaministry.

Not even in WoW.

And last night, Johan Gasmask and I rolled a Gnomelock and a Gnomemage too.

Yes. I play on an RP server. Not PVP. I leave PVP to... others.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

whut no lulz?

I have no original content for you to-day, and I'm not in the mood to share the slightly depressing self-incriminating snippets I've turned up. So here, have a this, which is not by me... it has semi-panzeriche!:

And a kitteh.

Heee... kitteh.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Win to fail, and fail to win.

Yesterday was July 20th, so we celebrate a give-or-take year of lulz here at deadnazi dot blog, and also the efforts of good ol Klaus Von Stauffy, the one-eyed wonderkind. And how do we do it? With a lulzy lol, wot...

and also, thanks to wikipedia, which needs no lulz...

VIDDY THE PANTS OF ASSASSINATION! Srsly, these are supposedly the pants Hitler was wearing when the bomb went off.

Though really... OMG WTF MOAR HITLER PANTS!?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

But what's the question?

JG always finds me the very best videos:



Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Um... we needed a football?

Boy, the hits just keep on comin' today.

BERLIN (Reuters) - A man tore the head from a controversial waxwork figure of Adolf Hitler on the opening day of Berlin's Madame Tussauds museum on Saturday, police said.

Just minutes after the museum opened, the 41-year-old German man pushed aside two security men guarding the exhibit.

"Then he went over to the figure and ripped off the head," a police spokesman said.

And I was just looking for info on the tropical storm. There kinda had to be one, as we've had nonstop thunderstorms for the past three nights. But anyway, the best line ever:

It is illegal in Germany to show Nazi symbols and art glorifying Hitler and the exhibit was cordoned off to stop visitors posing with him. [Emphasis mine.]

Oh yes. Awesome.

"Hey Hon! Come and get a picture of me and the Boss! I'ma gonna give 'im bunny ears!"

Said Kainenchen.


Googlefun strikes again!

One doesn't really have to work hard to make fun of some nazis, after all. Some nazis make fun of themselves. Nevermind that if this was a wikipedia article, it would need cleanup bad, to meet standards.

One could always use my method of course: For values of Some Nazis, (sometimes but not always in reference to sproggly weirdshit), read: Himmler.

The Catholic Pants Command Me.

Today I did something I don't usually do, feeling very lulz deprived, and I googled 'nazis', to see what turned up.

It seems that reductio ad Hitlerium is everywhere. People all the time be trying to associate everything they don't like with Hitler and the Nazis (Much like ol' Darling Adolphe did with the Jews, but OOH LOOK MOM, an IRONY!). This includes the Athiests!

Because OH NOES, the NAZIS were CHRISTIANS A LOT, and so CHRISTIANS (esp. Catholics) HAS A BAD!

The best part being the very first image:

ZOMG, Hitler Haz a WHIP! Clearly, the thinks he's Jesus mit der moneylenders. Because you know who the moneylenders are? That's right, JEWS! ZOMG ZOMG!11!!1one!

And LOOK! We haz a further proof:

Admittedly, the site in question doesn't draw any conclusions, but leaves you to draw your own. I've drawn mine all right. On my etch-a-sketch. Whee!

Saturday, June 28, 2008


Whoever made this is my new hero:

I've seen the chat before, but this is special. Watch the whole thing. And yes-- you Will lose The Game.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

We have ways of making you lol.

You know who invented the lulz? HITLER!!!

The best part being that the main joke in this is the one recounted here.

You see, the pants command me.


(also, it's official: everyone makes fun of Hermann. EVERYONE.)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Old Timey Lulz.

Natzy Nuisance, or The Last Three-- watched it tonight, though really, it's less lulzy and more Allied Propaganda-y. I can't help it-- I just can't make myself like Smirking GI-Joe types, even naval ones. Though it's worth it for the moment of Lil' Joe in the early beginning.

Personally, I'll stick with The Great Dictator.

Life is worth losing.

Not strictly on-topic, but yesterday passed another who was all about Paranoia in the guise of comedy, or comedy in the guise of Paranoia, however you want to look at it.

And since I can't get it to embed, you can enjoy him here.

Ah, he was a great great man.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Dat's how we Reichroll, bitchez.

The Hitler_lolz livejournal community has a new mod, and a new batch of happylol funtimez.


It just... makes me want to Capslock. So hard.

Facebook for the High Command.

We're always on the lookout for new and exciting lulz.

I don't even know how I found it, but this right here is Win.

Evil is as Evil invades.

The Encyclopedia Dramatica article on Nazis is a true Lulzmine. But of all the excellent lulz there, I kinda have to point this one out as Special:

I would talk about Waterloo today, as today is the day one ought to talk about waterloo, but it has been talked about enough and with great aplomb by Johan Gasmask, here. Besides, everything I had to say about Waterloo, I said 190 years ago, to Nappy's face.

"Sire, it is the utter ruin of France."

Peace out. Haz a kitteh:

Monday, June 16, 2008

Spin makes the world go round.

Admittedly, I am in a paranoid mood tonight. Watching libertarian documentaries will do that. Also, reading the speeches of Little Joey Gobbels will do that tenfold.

And then seeing news stories like this one just plain give one the jibblies. I rather posted about this Operation Falcon before. The idea of huge coordinated sweeps of people bug me to no end. Call me crazy, even though I know it is supposed to be all on criminals, but I don't really trust anyone, least of all the government that far. And there's something about the way that article is written that screams "SPIN! SPIN! SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND!" to me.

Johan Gasmask is right, and I need to find some nice job doing something that brings actual happiness into the world, and stop worrying about this sort of thing.

Though I had a non-paranoid comment to make, which was about the Joe Louis v. Max Schmeling fight. One knows what it meant to both sides at the time, both the intial fight and the rematch, and I have (in this life) always admired The Brown Bomber a good deal. But it pleases me extremely to know that when Louis fell on hard times later (the result of heinous actions by the IRS), that Schmeling not only helped him out, probably even paid for his some or all of his burial. Considering that he was buried in Arlington, I don't know how much he'd have had to, but seriously, that just warms my heart, right there.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Let this be their character note.

Real IM conversation:

[2:32:01 PM] Kainenchen says: It disturbs me that Albert Speer died 5 days exactly before I was born.
[2:32:43 PM] Johan Gasmask says: Mmm.. Indian food.


Authoritarian humor is fight. So says Hoover.org, in the article below, which is chock full of lulz like the following:

two European communists are rewarded with a trip to the glorious Soviet Union, but only one comes back. At work, the fellow traveler is quizzed by a colleague,

“How are living conditions in the Soviet Union?”
“Wonderful. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
“And how is the housing? How is the food situation?”
“Splendid. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
“But what happened to your friend?”
“Oh, he’s in Siberia. He did believe his eyes.”

Now, the article has the following to say about lulz during the 30's and 40's:

The sentimental axiom that jokes in, or against, authoritarian societies are liberating certainly does not stand up to scrutiny in the singular case of Nazi Germany. German jokes — and, in particular, those of working-class Berliners, who seem to have conjured up most of the gags — were unusual in that Nazi leaders, not Nazi ideology or the state apparatus, were their butt. This idiosyncrasy would seem to indicate that, at least until very late in the war, many Germans identified with and accepted the regime and its aims. Given that the Reich lasted but 12 years (half of which was occupied by fighting) and the Soviet Empire lasted eight mostly peaceful decades, Germans were not given the same opportunity to witness the Big Lie.

In the German case, political jokes were neither “tiny revolutions” nor pain relievers, but good-natured fun akin to jokes in democratic societies where the political structure is assumed to be legitimate.

I would suggest that telling a derisive political joke was only revolutionary in the period during the war, which the article points out, was fun for that one could be (in theory) put to death for it. Anyway, while the above does not seem unusual to westerners, it was unusual in an authoritarian government, where the State tends to be the target, not the leaders. But you didn't tell jokes about Hitler (especially not during the war), and as is pointed out above: yes, most people of the time were legitimate national socialists. I do have a bit of a niggling issue with the phrasing there, "the regime and it's aims." You all can probably guess this, but I would rather not get into what amounts to Apology, and a subject for other posts.

But let us stop that, for some quality period lulz:

"...on their wedding night, his wife awakes and catches a naked Goering waving his marshal’s baton around. “What are you doing?” she asks. “I’m promoting my underpants to overpants.” Victor Klemperer’s remarkable I Will Bear Witness, 1933-1941: A Diary of the Nazi Years (Random House, 1999) records just one joke between 1933 and 1941. It contrasts the 1917-18 punchline to the question, “How long will the war last?” with its modern equivalent. During the Great War, the answer was, “Till the officers have to eat the same food as the men”; during the Second World War, “Until Goering fits into Goebbels’s trousers.”

And we all know who had pants, don't we?

Now, speaking of:

"As for Goebbels, the minister of propaganda, jokes about him ridiculed his deformities, height, and complexion. It was only his many enemies in the party who tended to circulate those more waspishly commenting on his propagandistic distortions. Ernst Röhm, the brownshirted sa commander executed by Hitler in the Night of the Long Knives, generated a huge number of jokes, all of which harped on his homosexuality, towards which an “innocent” Hitler averted his eyes for a suspiciously long time (as a 1934 joke went: “Just imagine how upset the Führer will be if he gets to know Goebbels has a club foot!”). Perhaps unsurprisingly, the only leading Nazis to escape laughter were Reichsführer SS Heinrich Himmler and his chief executioner, SS-Obergruppenführer Reinhard Heydrich (whose unusually high-pitched voice would otherwise have marked him as a prime target)."

Yes, I know-- everyone is shocked that somehow (within the reich, anyway), Glasses Himmler escaped ridicule. Open ridicule anyway. I WONDER HOW HE MANAGED THAT!?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Speaking of Eddie Izzard...

Cake or death is a very important question. And the answer to which, we must remember:

Yes, I know that Portal belike got the whole Cake bit from Eddie Izzard. But who new there was such a deep connexion with Church of England? :D

mmm... vegetarians are tasty. Especially baked into a cake.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

A few words about Irony.

Irony, in my humble, is stronger than the force. It surrounds us and binds us true, though sometimes it binds us in the Great Chain, sometimes in a great big hug, sometimes in a shibari bondage kit with ball gag. I give Karma a certain amount of credit for giving me certain choices and presenting me with situations that I might not otherwise have. But that is one thing. Distinct from Irony. Or the amusing coincidence.

Which is what happens when an ex-girlfriend who works in hollywood FX IMs you to let you know that she is working on the Project Valkyrie movie.

And you think, "Damn, I am probably not in that movie at all." Though other people you know will be.

Yes, those are the moments.


(p.s.-- I am jealous of the fellow who gets to be played by Eddie Izzard. Also, "Angry SS Officer" = BEST ROLE EVAR. I mean... isn't it just so!)

Monday, June 2, 2008

Lol whut?

Occasionally, it is time to take break to snicker at other people's lolz.

These are lolz from pics of the Creation Museum in northern Kentucky. But I will link entries, from the forums at http://whateveresque.com:

The lolz are for everyone, esp teh dead!

Sunday, June 1, 2008


This one was sitting on my hard drive, and I felt the need:

Just like Strong Mad and the Cheat.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tonight on GodwinWatch...

A thing that politics in this country would be much the better for: A more general understanding of, and education about, Godwin's Law. What, exactly, is Godwin's Law you ask? I'll let Bill O'Reily explain, in a cautionary clip:

Don't be a threadkiller. Avoid generalisations about groups and individuals. Avoid Godwin's.

This public service announcement was brought to you by the letters K & H, and the number Doom.

You learn something new every few years.

They've re-done quizilla, so the dead nazi quiz no longer shows up at its old link. Which is fine, as I desperately need to change it.

For one, karma is infinitely more subtle than I thought 5 years ago, and some of the result definitions need updating desperately.

Also, I need to add a Dead Ally and a Good German/Party Member result.

If those of you who read this screed (both of you) have any additional suggestions, I am a most amenable Kainenchen, indeed.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Bossman Cometh.

In the same vein, Ethel Waters shares our sentiments about everybody's favorite minister of propaganda.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The hits just keep on comin'.

So, I am working on a series of lolnazis to commemorate the... heh... giants among us lesser peons of the Reich. To begin with, I wish to dedicate this video to someone very close to me, a veritable colossus, a... all right, I cannot keep that up. Little Joe, wherever you are, this is for you:

And from the same, well... I have realised, perhaps I insult all my old friends and co-workers, with my lulz, my gallows humor. But really, the sentiment behind my jollies can be discovered here:


That's me: The Looniest Knight of the Year.


The Pants Command Me.

For some reason, the reducto ad Hitlerium one did not post. So...

(yes. Those are the pants Hitler was wearing when he died. They burnt them so they would not be an object of worship, or sommat. Seriously.)


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Let there be Lulz.

So, I posted a sampling of the Lulz before, and now... the sum total!

The ones below are for use on forums and things... well, you shall see:

(yes. Those are the pants Hitler was wearing when he died. They burnt them so they would not be an object of worship, or sommat. Seriously.)

Also, I had not ever seen The Great Dictator, by Charlie Chaplin until tonight, as they have it as a nice, free, online movie. Admittedly... it wasn't really what I was expecting. But good. It was good.

Though really, I thought I was all through with guilt. Thanks, Chuckles.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Arbeit Macht LOL.

The internet failed at the place of work to-day, so instead, we made lolnazis. Some for being a forum bastard, some for pointing out a severe case of Godwin's, some just for... well, teh lulz. And here is the lulziest sample:

I think I shall actually make a part of Teh Site, and link from here tomorrow. When I am not a sorry shell of ein Kainenchen.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Passing the torch.

How Timely.

Hopefully that link will work, as ushmm.org links sometimes have problems, but yeah.

HAI CHINA, U noes who even started the Olympic Torch Run? HITLER!


A Subtle? NOT YOURS.

(That said, Go go go the Dalai Lama. Srsly, who could hate that guy? He has Bodhisattva awesome. I can think of few awesomes that are awesomer.)

Friday, March 14, 2008

Nazis R Guitars.

So I downloaded the new update for the psp, and they have an internet radio application. One of the channels is called 'balladen', which sounded most interesting. And what was the first thing on, when I played it?



The whole station... german epic balladry. I am in love with the song Unbekannter Soldat by Annett. So good.

Of course, it is probably all listened to by the neo-nazis and skinheads and the yep still fascist crowd, but i don't care. It makes me feel all warm inside.

I could well have a politikkkal rant about many, many things, but perhaps I will save it for later.

Also, as a couple of days ago... happy Anschluss Anniversary!

And a million apologies for a) bad spelling and b)lack of proper punctuation. I am too tired tonight for ASCII.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Der filmen!

I've never seen Judgment at Nuremberg before.

We found it for $2 at EB games!


Monday, January 21, 2008

What is this noise!?

Did any of you know about this? I didn't know about this. Not that I would have known about it. But still. STILL.

What the BALLS?

That's just kind of surprising, and a little but of what the shits.

Now, if you want some lulz, howsabout a nice thick slice of Dingo's kidney pie?

Nom Nom Nom.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

If you build it.

Ok, so this isn't really /my/ sarcasms, so don't take the tag as that I am being this time sarcastic. But rather Zbignew Liberia's sacrasms, more, and his Lego Concentration Camps that pissed everyone off a while back. As you can see below.

Personally, I like what he was doing and trying to say. It's the bitter lulz, and we at deadnazi.blog love the bitter lulz. We snuggle them and takes them to tea. And we would like to buy this clever Polack a nice cup of tea. For coolty. And lulz.

So... what really annoys me is all the negative flack this guy got for his artz. I mean... holy luftwaffles people, ease up on the literality and ask why it disturbs you, before you fly off the rutting handle.

Mien Gott, for fuck's sake.


Sunday, January 13, 2008

Phone conversation:

Dramatis Personae:
-Gestapo Jones (Who wants to be called Johan Gasmask now sometime. So, JG instead of GJ? Whichever.)
-JG's (GJ's) Mother. (No lines. Was just on the other end of the phone)
-KH-- Das Kainenchen. That is, myself.

JG: (In reference to a set of knives sent by the Mother) Yep, the Germans make a good knife. Nothing like the Germans for implements of doom.
Mother: *speaks*
JG: Yes, or the Japanese. Kind of makes you wonder why they lost the war.
KH: Poor trains management.
JG: Also, putting all their skill points in knives making.
KH: Yes, poor skill allotment is a problem. Also, wasting resources on clearing mobs for no XP, when they should have been killing something that would get them some level.
Mother: *has decided that we Has Problems*

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Leftist claptrap.

Like I consider sites like AlterNet.org unbiased. Still, this is a matter of consternation, especially when combined with this.

And This jawing about things like this, which certaily looks wholesome on paper.

If I were a paranoiac, I would be jawing too, about what we'll say when they ask us again, how we could let Those Atrocities happen, and Didn't We See it Coming?

As it isn't like I haven't had some time to consider these questions.

Me, I was too busy running a Gau. And a Siege, eventually. See, the military is straightforward and simple like that. Do this, don't do that, attack, defend-- morally, it all gets whitewashed under the heading of WAR. But I digress. This has no lulz.

Except the patronising sort one gives to paranoid conspiracy theorists with so much time on their hands they freak out over every shifty little thing. Yeah, we laughs at them.


Wednesday, January 9, 2008


No wonder the SS uniforms were so damn sexy.

They were apparently designed by Hugo Boss.


(though yeah, they did get pretty hot and itchy sometimes. It's true.)

Thanks again, Cracked.com, for teh lulz!


P.S. for more reducto ad Hitlerium lulzery, check this action out. Seimens I can't really fault, admittedly. They were a nazi company to the hilt. So... yeah. Still slugging at them seems to me like still blaming the Germans. *snuzzles the old homestead*.

Though seriously, their international departments ought to have had some idea how well 'zyklon' would go over as a product name outside of the German speaking countries.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008


Everyone knows that the best place for sick fucking lulz is Encyclopedia Dramatica. Of course, the lulz are frequently interspersed with soul-eating skullrape, but that's all right. We always do it for the lulz, and yes.

So we link things for lulz-reference, like ed's page on Adolf Hitler.

I think I need to make a comprehensive lulzlist on deadnazi.net or something of the kind. For all teh nazi related lulz. Even if ed has it already.


ETA: And for sample, the funniest fraggin' thing EVAR:

Wednesday, January 2, 2008


The only reason I am posting this episode of zero punctuation is... well, that would spoil it. Srsly, Just watch it. It's a short bit, but a snicker-worthy one. I mean, I lol'd.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Some jobs just suck.

Dead Nazis shouldn't work in kennels. Too many fences, and too many flies. At least there wasn't barbed wire.

A bad job is just a bad job. Some lessons endure.