Friday, November 23, 2007

ONoes, indiana Jones r Comingz!!!!1111


Also: not mine, but this is how I sometimes feel in this scary, skinny life:

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Ja Whol, mien Führer.

Almost every dead nazi I know has gone through some period of thinking/fearing that they, in fact, might be Dead!Hitler. Yes, even das Kainenchen, although I was... eight? Something like that, at the time.

Anyway. Hitler is one of those lives that for anyone to claim would be... well, a one-way ticket to the land of the crazyfuck. That said, I think there's still some speculation about who, in this current time, had the misfortune of having der Führer's karma.

My guess is immortalised below:

Let's face it-- He's led a life of glory and trauma, he's been a little kid his whole life, and really, he'd be great at the job.

Just a suggestion.

(eta: honestly, could also be Mussolini. Srsly.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


Gestapo Jones Started a Blog. On the Deadness, and it's online incarnations. It is most excellent, an I recommend it highly.

Today has been a bad karma day. Some blended blessings, but overall annoying, in a very black humor sort of way.

I would say gallows humor, but is there any other kind?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

A Very Auschwitz Christmas

So, here is the entire photo album that goes with the article I linked in the postscript here. It's worth it for the Auschwitz Christmas tree, which the owner of the album is lighting.

Also, I figured out why I hated my 7th grade lit teacher so much, on first sight.

He looks exactly like Josef Mengele, especially in this picture.

Forgive the remote link, but it's just so creepy.


(p.s. No mother, I don't want a Hitler action figure for Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Nien.)

(p.p.s. For some reason, if the above album link doesn't work, try this one, and there's a link on the sidebar to view the album.)

Enter Hitler, riding a giant robot spider.

I linked this a while ago. But I was depressed. And i watched it again. And you know, I am going to watch this all the time, whenever I am depressed. I think it will never cease to cheer me up, forever, always, and aye.


because we don't own a copy of Bent.

You can always tell a dead nazi household. It contains conversations like the following:

"I want to relax and watch a movie tonight."

"Sure thing... how about Schindler's List?"

"Oh good, just what I was thinking."

And so it is watched, and all of the documentaries too.

Maybe next we watch Swing Kids.

(Also, we own too many pairs of boots here. Closets fill so easily... we're always tripping over them. Boots boots boots. But are there ever really too many boots?)

Friday, November 16, 2007

Life and Times.

It's morning, so I am going to go do laundry at the coin-op and get bagels with Gestapo Jones.

I live with Gestapo Jones now. Remember please that reincarnation is a search, often. But that is not what I wanted to write about.

I wanted today to talk about bagels.

I love bagels. But I do not like lox. I think this is a measure of criminal guilt amongst nazis of the dead variety. Gestapo Jones is a salmon bagel aficionado. Me, I never had to force down the stuff. Clearly, I have demonstratively less guilt. I should make a formula of some sort about this.

Imagine, for example, the excess of guilt necessary to enjoy gefelte fish.

(Latkes don't count, however. Everybody with a soul likes latkes. Unless you don't like potatoes, and then you just probably have some Irish issues.)

Maybe I just like to link things.

Is it wrong to link a page and include, as the link, the two most amusing things thereupon?

I don't know, but I'm going to do it anyway.

"Did you hear what happened!" a man asked his friend. "Last night at 9:20 p.m. on the rue de Clichy, a Jew killed a German officer, cut open his chest, and ate his heart!"

"Impossible!" cried his friend. "And in three ways. One, a German does not have a heart; two, a Jew does not eat pig; and three, at 9:20 p.m., everyone is listening to the BBC."


There is, for instance, a short essay by a handsome young American, whose job came to be that of picking up gay German officers. After a night of love-making, just before they got up, he would jam an icepick into the neck of his recent conquest:

"My hands are strong [he wrote]. I never used a gun or a grenade. I did not trust them as weapons and I felt they would expose me to danger. I killed in private, quietly."


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Now usually I don't do this but uh...

For great Wangst.

The irony achievement: Rommel edition.

Not feeling so inspired for more lulz. But I wanted to do something nice for Rommy anyway.

So here, I found a link for Rommel's Rod...

Because Dead Nazis are Dead. Even little model dead nazis in little model cars.


moar lulz.

Not as good as previous lulz, and you have to know your bioshock to get sommes, but still. Strike while the iron is boiling, as Rommel always used to say.

Speaking of Rommel. It would have been his birthday yesterday. Also Stauffenberg's. Maybe i will lulz them commemoratively later. Paint.NET for teh free world.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

People wanna know who we are so we tell them...

I'm finding that I need to revise some of my theories about dead nazis as recorded in the dead nazi faq. For starters, I begin to think that dead nazis are generally reborn as young queerlings in the realm of human beings. I think the degree of difficulty they have with their queerness is related to karma. I say this because it seems most of the dead nazis I know are... well, oddly like me.

Or else they're genderfucked straight girls. Or Bi girls. Or hardcore trans queerbois. We're mostly (physically) girls now. Odd little genderqueer girls.

There is a time I would have found this disappointing. Like there ought to have been a more distinct justice, this time around.

But I should have remembered that justice is a subtle bitch, as is Karma, and Irony, and we likes it like that.

Thursday, November 8, 2007


I did not make this.

This was from This post on livejournal


This makes fun of Hermann even better than I ever could.