Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Pointy pointy point.

So I was going on the rant of how, when I was a very young Kainenchen, I looked awfully like a communist because I believed in workers working for the government, and the government insuring the well being of workers. This being because workers striking are bad for the country. And because companies exploiting workers are bad for the country. And ultimately, it is the country, the Nation, and it's well being which matters.

At which point I remembered the sudden and disturbing shock with which i remembered about the main of the camps being forced labour camps. Well, when they're political prisoners, and when they are prisoners at all, it makes sense, let them work. But it occurred to me, it was essentially slave labour. So so.

I finally remembered the point I wanted to make. The thing that bothers me about Holocaust revisionists, wanting to shrink the numbers of dead Jews and all of that. Ok, so the Jews weren't being killed out of hand. They were still being put in-- as the majority were, let me repeat-- labour camps. Which is even LESS acceptable to an American mind than outright murder. This country hates Slavery more than anything, murder, I think, is FAR more acceptable. So revisionists, you're still fucked in the goat ass.

Cry moar, and try again.

Context, I no has it.

From the Godwin's Law, Sarcasm is and Endangered Species, and c'mon... CONTEXT, BY GOD! files:

US actor Will Smith has stunned fans by reportedly declaring that Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler was essentially a "good" person.

In an interview with Scottish newspaper The Daily Record, the 39-year-old Men In Black star said he did not believe Hitler fully understood what effect his policies would have.

"Even Hitler didn't wake up going, 'Let me do the most evil thing I can do today," Smith told the newspaper in a wide-ranging interview.

"I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was 'good'."

LOLZ!!! That's for anyone who thinks that Will Smith is actually endorsing Hitler. Being unaware of one's own Ebil and Not Being Ebil are two different things. So lame.

Also, sometimes, I wish I was this guy. He's so much cooler than me.

Merry Christmas, everywhere, and here.

Friday, December 21, 2007

The Wonderful Wizard of Wounded Knee.

I'll keep this in mind when I write my children's novel.

Though srsly. The biting sarcasm in the two editorials by L. Frank Baum (more readable versions available here.) is apparent at least to me. Even if it has more than an undercurrent of sincerity, it's hardly the touting hatespeech the first article would make it out to be. If anything, it's a hardline pessimist (and if you don't think the man was a hardline pessimist, re-read the Wizard of Oz) view of the situation in which he was living at the time. He had no way of knowing that Political Correctness, the Holocaust, Civil Rights, Tolerance, and other such buzzwords were going to take ahold of this country, and even if he did, I think he would have snorted at them as the raging hypocrisy which they often are-- if you're taking the Nationalistic view, and I get the impression he was. As a people, the (collective) American continues to be guilty of running in and making a mess of other people's affairs-- to the point where a man like Baum might say of the Muslims, as of the Indians, that the only way to deal with them is to eradicate them all, (even if one can understand their viewpoint).

So, is he being assy? Yeah.


Not really. Not by himself, anyway.

In conjunction with a powerful panzerkrieg-like engine of expansion in the form of a rolling, lockstepping army and driven leadership...

...oh wait.

Still, Baum's no Minister of Propaganda, and Der Amerikaner Feel RILLY bad about all That Stuff nao, and yeah, right?

Well, I suppose we'll see, won't we?


(and as is fairly clear, ja, das Kainenchen happens to inhabit an American-born fleshsack the now. Hence the EngsDesutche. So there.)

Monday, December 17, 2007

Not Nappy.

This blog is not a Frenchman's blog. It is not concerned with Deadfrench Angst. However, as there are a number of deadnazis who are also deadfrench, and there are a number of other similarities, and BECAUSE IT'S TEH LULZ AND TEH LULZ ARE WHAT MATTER...

It's amazing what you can do with Ego.

Now playing: Pedro The Lion - Invention
via FoxyTunes


Lulz moar nao!

inspired by.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

this the way.

This is the way we test the lj feed.

lulz, wangst, gestapo, breslau, blah.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Here he comes, it's Himmler's clown.

I lol'd.

Also: why does it seem when I write anything quasi-historical, even fanfic, suddenly it becomes all... OMG CAMPS?


Wednesday, December 12, 2007

for this year's good nazis.

All I want for Chanaukahmas.

I know tonight is i think the last night of Chanaukah, but still.


Sunday, December 9, 2007

A gay romp with Adolf and Eva on the Upper West Side.

this was unsurprisingly canceled after one episode.
Eat your heart out, Archie Bunker.


P.S: cracks me up.

Heroin, by the way, was originally developed by Bayer. You know, those friendly folks behind harmless old aspirin.

Oh, and while we're taking on the man, we should also mention that Bayer used to be called IG Farben, a pharmaceutical and chemical conglomerate that allegedly sponsored experiments by Nazi torturers. How is this not at the center of every single Tylenol ad campaign: the fast acting pain reliever that has never sponsored Nazi torture camps.

(it's not really Godwin, but... still! ^^)

Relijun is SRUS BIZNIS.

One of the more fun things about being a dead nazi is knowing that, with your particular racial/religious/sexual mix this time, you are so the first one in the showers when the final solution comes again.

But seriously folks. Not that I have made too much of an effort to be all that serious. I think this is what worries me most about This kind of thing.

While Romney said some good things in his speech-- the best was his pointing out, essentially, that the reason we are free from sectarian violence as exists in the Middle East is because we do embrace all faiths. This nonsense about the religion of secularism. Secularism has to be the public rule simply because there are too many faiths to make faith of any sort the public rule. Not to imply that all religious symbolism and suggestion should be removed from the culture, for there is a good deal to be said the tradition. That is why a na-jew like this dead nazi celebrates Christmas-- it's a happy tradition, (by God :) and damned if anyone can snatch it away from me.

But let us illustrate Romney's point with this episode of Mickey Mouse and the Protocols of the Elders of Mecca:

That said, I swore my notary public oath on a copy of Samuel Shellabarger's Prince of Foxes.

So yeah.


Wednesday, December 5, 2007

This about sums it up:




Dead Nazis shouldn't get drunk.

but we need to.

Also, dead nazis shouldn't.. i forget what we shouldn't. Oh! It's a should. We should keep our mouths shut. We've been advertising unfortunately. And we should not do that. This is probably a bad thing to talk to much about. being dead, and a nazi and all, no matter who um. I forget.

Has a lol:

(no this isn't mine, but I wish it was.)

Saturday, December 1, 2007

We're out there havin' fun...

Today I frolicked in the surf at the beach with JFK.

I am beginning to think there is something very wrong with my life.

but I like it anyway.

Friday, November 23, 2007

ONoes, indiana Jones r Comingz!!!!1111


Also: not mine, but this is how I sometimes feel in this scary, skinny life:

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Ja Whol, mien Führer.

Almost every dead nazi I know has gone through some period of thinking/fearing that they, in fact, might be Dead!Hitler. Yes, even das Kainenchen, although I was... eight? Something like that, at the time.

Anyway. Hitler is one of those lives that for anyone to claim would be... well, a one-way ticket to the land of the crazyfuck. That said, I think there's still some speculation about who, in this current time, had the misfortune of having der Führer's karma.

My guess is immortalised below:

Let's face it-- He's led a life of glory and trauma, he's been a little kid his whole life, and really, he'd be great at the job.

Just a suggestion.

(eta: honestly, could also be Mussolini. Srsly.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


Gestapo Jones Started a Blog. On the Deadness, and it's online incarnations. It is most excellent, an I recommend it highly.

Today has been a bad karma day. Some blended blessings, but overall annoying, in a very black humor sort of way.

I would say gallows humor, but is there any other kind?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

A Very Auschwitz Christmas

So, here is the entire photo album that goes with the article I linked in the postscript here. It's worth it for the Auschwitz Christmas tree, which the owner of the album is lighting.

Also, I figured out why I hated my 7th grade lit teacher so much, on first sight.

He looks exactly like Josef Mengele, especially in this picture.

Forgive the remote link, but it's just so creepy.


(p.s. No mother, I don't want a Hitler action figure for Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Nien.)

(p.p.s. For some reason, if the above album link doesn't work, try this one, and there's a link on the sidebar to view the album.)

Enter Hitler, riding a giant robot spider.

I linked this a while ago. But I was depressed. And i watched it again. And you know, I am going to watch this all the time, whenever I am depressed. I think it will never cease to cheer me up, forever, always, and aye.


because we don't own a copy of Bent.

You can always tell a dead nazi household. It contains conversations like the following:

"I want to relax and watch a movie tonight."

"Sure thing... how about Schindler's List?"

"Oh good, just what I was thinking."

And so it is watched, and all of the documentaries too.

Maybe next we watch Swing Kids.

(Also, we own too many pairs of boots here. Closets fill so easily... we're always tripping over them. Boots boots boots. But are there ever really too many boots?)

Friday, November 16, 2007

Life and Times.

It's morning, so I am going to go do laundry at the coin-op and get bagels with Gestapo Jones.

I live with Gestapo Jones now. Remember please that reincarnation is a search, often. But that is not what I wanted to write about.

I wanted today to talk about bagels.

I love bagels. But I do not like lox. I think this is a measure of criminal guilt amongst nazis of the dead variety. Gestapo Jones is a salmon bagel aficionado. Me, I never had to force down the stuff. Clearly, I have demonstratively less guilt. I should make a formula of some sort about this.

Imagine, for example, the excess of guilt necessary to enjoy gefelte fish.

(Latkes don't count, however. Everybody with a soul likes latkes. Unless you don't like potatoes, and then you just probably have some Irish issues.)

Maybe I just like to link things.

Is it wrong to link a page and include, as the link, the two most amusing things thereupon?

I don't know, but I'm going to do it anyway.

"Did you hear what happened!" a man asked his friend. "Last night at 9:20 p.m. on the rue de Clichy, a Jew killed a German officer, cut open his chest, and ate his heart!"

"Impossible!" cried his friend. "And in three ways. One, a German does not have a heart; two, a Jew does not eat pig; and three, at 9:20 p.m., everyone is listening to the BBC."


There is, for instance, a short essay by a handsome young American, whose job came to be that of picking up gay German officers. After a night of love-making, just before they got up, he would jam an icepick into the neck of his recent conquest:

"My hands are strong [he wrote]. I never used a gun or a grenade. I did not trust them as weapons and I felt they would expose me to danger. I killed in private, quietly."


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Now usually I don't do this but uh...

For great Wangst.

The irony achievement: Rommel edition.

Not feeling so inspired for more lulz. But I wanted to do something nice for Rommy anyway.

So here, I found a link for Rommel's Rod...

Because Dead Nazis are Dead. Even little model dead nazis in little model cars.


moar lulz.

Not as good as previous lulz, and you have to know your bioshock to get sommes, but still. Strike while the iron is boiling, as Rommel always used to say.

Speaking of Rommel. It would have been his birthday yesterday. Also Stauffenberg's. Maybe i will lulz them commemoratively later. Paint.NET for teh free world.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

People wanna know who we are so we tell them...

I'm finding that I need to revise some of my theories about dead nazis as recorded in the dead nazi faq. For starters, I begin to think that dead nazis are generally reborn as young queerlings in the realm of human beings. I think the degree of difficulty they have with their queerness is related to karma. I say this because it seems most of the dead nazis I know are... well, oddly like me.

Or else they're genderfucked straight girls. Or Bi girls. Or hardcore trans queerbois. We're mostly (physically) girls now. Odd little genderqueer girls.

There is a time I would have found this disappointing. Like there ought to have been a more distinct justice, this time around.

But I should have remembered that justice is a subtle bitch, as is Karma, and Irony, and we likes it like that.

Thursday, November 8, 2007


I did not make this.

This was from This post on livejournal


This makes fun of Hermann even better than I ever could.



Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Horst Wessel <3 U.

I mean, ok. Zero Punctuation is always fabulous.

This, however, warms my little dead nazi heart.



p.s. -- I was trying to use scribefire to post this, but it doesn't seem to work. Hm.
Will not make any bad nazi extermination jokes, no.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Had a dream last night. I was in WWIII. And there were NSDP running around again, bombing houses with indie band girls in them. And for once, I was on the good side.

You know. The one having bombs dropped on me.

This probably comes from watching too much Schindler's List before bedtime.

Am I the only one who thinks that Oskar Schindler is one of the sexiest, most sinister and bad-ass names ever?

Well, apart from H/T.


P.S. (So this is what I missed not being stationed at Auschwitz. lol.)

Monday, October 15, 2007

Dingo's Kidneys.

I should not read the claims of Holocaust Revisionists. I should not read refutations of holocaust revisionists. I would link this stuff, but you can find most of it on wikipedia. Well, there's the Nikzor project, but anyway, it only does a very half-assed job at contradicting the claims, which probably stems from the fact that if you immerse yourself in shit, pretty soon the shit will come spurting out of your mouth. That is to say: when trying to objectively combat an example of really bad research and really bad argument over a long period of time, one can certainly become confused enough by it that one forgets how to do so effectively.

I should quote specific examples, but to do so would be fraught. Besides, improving on nikzor's job isn't my intent right now.

No, I was feeling bad for David Irving, spending time in prison for being a holocaust denier. While it seems clear that, as most holocaust deniers, his beliefs are fueled either by antisemitism, comfortable paranoia, or both, it seems to me that to throw the man in jail-- to oppress him and to persecute him for his beliefs, no matter how much they are a bunch of dingo's kidneys, gives credence to the latter. It's such a nice feeling, when you think you're right about a controversial topic, to have people try to silence you by putting you behind bars, and by the passing of laws that make it illegal to even talk about the noise. That is to say-- to be vindicated through oppression. Christ sandwiches.

Still, even though I don't think he ought to have been imprisoned, doesn't mean I ought to have gone and trolled the fellow's website. His Hitler obsession mirrors that some people give Napoleon, and, well, mine, when I was a very small dead nazi.

Aside from the whatevers, I found this link about Hitler's dental troubles especially good for a giggle.

I mean, I can relate.

Spoke to a dead not-nazi a couple of days ago, and feel very odd about the whole thing. It went to thinking and talking alot about the current American situation in ways would get one godwin'd on pretty much any blog ever, but. Anyway. I want to claim that I didn't know so much about the atrocities going on, that certain important people didn't know, that it wasn't as enormously huge a part of the agenda... but that's clearly not true. If my ignorance was so complete, then there would have been something left in me to prevent things like Breslau.

I stop here to prevent myself saying some very mean things about large groups of people.

I want to go burn a city now. I think I'll go pet one of the kitties instead.

Friday, October 12, 2007


I think Hermann got killed by Tyrone Power. I'm not entirely upset by this. Though in some respects there's not much difference. They both like good food and like to dress up in excessive costumes. They both drink every drop of liquor in the house and tear through a bottle of wine in nothing flat.

I wish I had a bottle of wine.

God, I want a bottle of wine.

Bordeaux? It doesn't even have to be prewar...

Like I or anyone make that kind of money these days...

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Mickey Maus.

So, in light of the last post.

I was playing BioShock with Johan and realised that I was a lot more disturbed by the pixellated dead cat than by the dead people.

I suppose there's still some things still wrong with me. Occupational hazards of being a dead nazi.

Moar lulz next time. I'm feeling too moody for captions. Though making fun of Goering is a good time for everyone, always.

Unless one can make fun of Himmler.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Nazi sad.

OMFG, I used to kill thousands of people every day without blinking, euthanize old people like nothing, and I'm going all to pieces over a cat.

For Irony's sake: Johan's cat.

I better go do this before I lose my nerve.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Halt. Hammerzeit.

So, here be the beginnings of a new era in the everpopular lol tradition: lolnazis!

yeah, i did it for tehs lulz.

They try. Man, how they try.

For context. I live in a flat with some cats and things and also Johan Gasmask. He's my special friend, I suppose, well, a closer friend now than in times past. He's got a great sense of humor, and is an excellent cook. But anyway.

So today I was reading a wikipedia article on 1984, and snickered at the following:

However, Orwell may also have been influenced by Nazi Reichsmarschall Hermann Göring, who once, in a debatable hyperbolic display of loyalty to Adolf Hitler, declared, "If the Führer wants it, two and two make five!" [2]

In other news, it's July 20th, the anniversary of another friend's Ill fated attempt on the Fuhrer. Because wiring a bomb is a lot more effective if you have both eyes and all your fingers.

He reminds me a bit of Nelson in that way, except cuter. Nelson spoiled it with a certain psychotic air. Not that I know from experience. I was screwing up the first time. Well the first time that matters. But that's another angst for another time.

Stauffy, we salute you. You tried dammit. Effort for teh win.

*double checks briefcase*

P.S. -- I love this one:

The song "The Panama Deception" by Anti-Flag begins with the text "Their two plus two does not equal four. Their two plus two equals whatever they want us to die for."

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

This way to Breslau.

Something strictly for deadness of reich, and of dignity, and all of those other things that you lose when you don't bet on old stewball, but instead on the psychopath on the steroids and oh noes, there goes poland and...

also, for the lolz.